The Weekend

This is the story of a woman.
More specifically, a 22 year old woman whose name may or may not be Alicia.
Probably not though. :)
But for the sake of the story we will call her Alicia. Just so you won't get confused.

Alicia's big brother got married. And it was a beautiful wedding full of tears, laughter, music, music being blown away while Alicia is playing piano and singing but she pulls it off effortlessly (Boom!), and happy memories being shared and made.
Because of the wedding Alicia's family from Texas flew out and were staying with her aunt and uncle in Auburn.
Since Alicia's parents don't get to see their family from Texas very often her mother went to visit them shortly after the wedding.
And a few days after Alicia's father went as well.
Friday afternoon Alicia's father left to go to work and left to Auburn immediately after, and as it was Friday, Alicia had no work.
Alicia had the house to herself.
Correction: Alicia had the house to herself all weekend.
Another Correction: Alicia was by herself all weekend.
Alicia gets weird when she's by herself for too long. Throw in her cat and she's just downright crazy.
Alicia kept it together though, for the most part.

Friday: She decided to clean. Alicia enjoys cleaning (to a degree, and depending on what it is.) and organizing. She set to work on cleaning her room since she would be leaving to college in a week and a half.
But this wasn't just cleaning and organizing. This was throwing out junk, going through closet and getting rid of clothes that she doesn't wear anymore, dusting, and oh yes, vacuuming!
It was serious business.
In the middle of her cleaning party, Alicia found a picture. But not just any picture. It wasn't a 4'6”, but it was a nice large framed picture.
Of her ex-boyfriend.
Of her ex-boyfriend whom she dated for 2 ½ years.
Of her ex-boyfriend whom she dated for 2 ½ years that she hasn't seen since Thanksgiving break.
Of her ex-boyfriend whom she dated for 2 ½ years that she hasn't seen since Thanksgiving break and who just recently got a girlfriend.
So...awesome, right??
So Alicia girded her loins (Job, anyone?) and texted him to tell him she had his picture and he should come get it at some point. He texts her back saying he can do that when he gets off work.
Alicia continues cleaning.
Alicia showers. Alicia gets dressed, and her ex-boyfriend shows up.
Alicia's ex-boyfriend is very nice and polite and looks nice in his suit from work. They talk for a bit catching up in the most normal way possible. Then Alicia's ex-boyfriend has to leave.
Alicia walks back into her room and sees herself in the mirror: wet hair, no make up, pajama pants, a tank top and slippers.
How attractive is that?
Then she realized that she doesn't care.
Sure, Alicia still loves her ex-boyfriend, but she isn't IN love with him anymore.
Alicia smiles, wishes her ex-boyfriend luck on his future endeavors (in her head of course. She's all alone, remember?), and continues cleaning.

Saturday: Alicia wakes up and goes to a meeting at church. She has plans to go get lunch and see a movie with one of her high schoolers, when during the meeting she finds out her high schooler was called into work so they had to reschedule.
Alicia grabs lunch and goes home. To clean. Again.
Alicia also realizes that she's home all alone...and she can be as loud as she wants to.
So OBVIOUSLY she cranks up her music and sings and dances around like any other normal person would do while home by themselves.
Eventually Alicia stops and realizes that she's hungry. She wants quiche.
So Alicia makes homemade quiche.
Alicia's pretty darn excellent, thank you very much.
Unfortunately while the quiche is baking Alicia begins to miss her best friend whom we'll call Andrea.
Andrea went back to school in, let's say Chicago.
Alicia eats a piece of quiche and realizes she is BORED and is feeling cooped up and wants to go do something but it's a Saturday night, I'm a broke college student, and there's no one my age in town. So she stays in and watches a movie and does laundry.
She's really hip.

Sunday: Alicia wakes up feeling nauseous. But this happens once in awhile, so she continues to get ready and makes her way to church.
Side Note: When Alicia isn't feeling well she tends to compensate in getting ready. The end result of getting ready Sunday morning was with Alicia curling her hair, longer than 5 minutes doing her make up, wearing a dress, and wearing 4 inch heels.
Alicia gets to church and gets through the worship practice. Alicia gets through the first 4 songs (that she is leading vocally, by the way), gets through the special song, gets off stage, goes into the bathroom and **if you get sick from hearing how other people get sick, do not, I repeat DO NOT continue reading this sentence! She throws up.
But she doesn't feel better. So she goes into her boss' office and lays down on the couch, then goes back onstage for the last song.
Then Alicia decided she needs to go home. Except she's singing lead on the first four songs and she's singing harmony on the special song that morning. So she decides she can push through at least the first five songs.
And by that, I mean Alicia knew that God could keep the contents of her stomach down long enough to get through the first five songs.
And you know what, He did.

And this is the part of the story where I have to share something with you. It's me. I am that girl.
I know it's a shocker. But I want to share what I learned onstage.

I felt bad because I was supposed to be leading worship. I felt that I wasn't leading worship, but worshiping and “inviting” others to worship with me.
Does that make sense?
I was doing nothing but singing and worshipping. I didn't do any of my transitions, and I barely got out the “Stand with us” at the end of the first service.
I was weak.
And the songs that we sang were: God of this City, Love the Lord, Everlasting God, and Lead me to the Cross.

God of this City:
“You're the strength in the weakness”
“There is no one like You, God.”

Love the Lord:
“I will serve You, Lord with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my STRENGTH.”

Everlasting God:
“Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.”
“You lift us up on wings like eagles.”

Lead me to the Cross:
“You were as I, tempted and tried, human.”
“Lead me to the cross, where Your love poured out. Bring me to my knees, Lord I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to You. Lead me, lead me to the cross.”


God knows our human strength – weakness, rather. He sent His son to earth in human form, so He knows firsthand.
In my time(s) of struggle and weakness, God gave me the strength that I needed to do what I wanted to do, and what He wanted me to do as well.
“I will serve You, Lord with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my STRENGTH”
With all my God-given strength. Because I did not do it on my own.