Update and Insight

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve been battling migraines for the last 2 years. They last for quite awhile, from 2 weeks to 4 weeks. I’ve gone to doctors, and the medicines I’ve taken haven’t really worked, at least not that we’ve been able to notice.
Last Monday I woke up with one of these migraines.
I went to the health center on campus on Tuesday and I received a shot and new medicine.
The medicine hasn’t worked as far as I can tell. It just makes me tired, but that’s not a bad thing!
If my head still hurts by Monday, I’m going to see the head doctor and he’ll point me to a neurologist.

Here’s where my insight is going to come in. ☺
Once in awhile I wonder, “Why me? God, why did You choose ME to give this pain to?”
However a very wise professor said in class last Tuesday that if you ask the “Why me?” question, you have to KEEP asking the question, like, “Why did You give me my family or friends who support me? Why did You give me a home and food?” and so on.
So, Why me? Why does He give me these migraines? Why does He give me the ability to STILL get up and go to classes (well, some of my classes at least)? Why does He give me a roommate that makes sure I’m ok and keeps it quiet in the apartment? Why does He give me a friend who hugs me and covers my ears during a LOUD chapel worship morning while I’m bawling because it hurts? Why does He give me professors who understand my pain and are willing to work with me one-on-one?
Why me?
Despite the pain, I’m still surviving. I know that God won’t give me anything more than I can handle, and apparently I can handle it, and I have faith in that.
As much as I want to stay in bed all day with the blinds closed and take my medicine and sleep all day, I don’t think that’s what God wants me to do.
So though I don’t know WHY I have these migraines, I won’t to let them stop me.

In Oratorio today we sang “Confutatis” from Mozart’s Requiem. Here is the translation:
“When the accused are confounded,
and doomed to flames of woe,
call me among the blessed.
I kneel with submissive heart,
My contrition is like ashes,
Help me in my final condition.”


So call me blessed, and here I kneel with my submissive heart.